Thursday, May 15, 2008

Presenting: The Voice of the Right!

Observe the overgrown homunculus pictured above. His name is Kevin James (not to be confused with the marginally-talented comic actor who had that marginal sitcom on CBS for awhile and also co-starred in I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry with that other twat), and, for reasons I might have once considered unfathomable but now pretty much accept as standard practice in today's media, has his own conservative talk radio show somewhere. One of the little Rushettes, as it were. Now, given that bit of knowledge, and given the overweening expression and body language as displayed in the photo, we can safely make a number of assumptions about this man:

  • He has never served in the U.S. armed forces, despite being a vociferous and enthusiastic supporter of any military incursion ordered by a Republican president.
  • He is deeply and passionately in love with the sound of his own voice.
  • He does not think very highly of those whose sociopolitical outlook does not jibe with his own.
  • He has a low opinion of homosexuality despite being a closeted gay man on the downlo- sorry, I can't leave that in; he looks entirely too stupid to be gay.
  • He is a complete and total ignoramus and douchebag.
Now, I had never even heard of this particular ignorant douchebag before; local market conservative blowhards are a dime-a-dozen and typically lack the distinguishing characteristics of the more popular syndicated blowhards whom they ape, such as drug-addiction (Limbaugh), white-supremacist ties (Hannity), or complete batshit narcissistic unbalance (O'Reilly). But this one caught my attention due to an appearance on MSNBC's SoftHardball with Chris Matthews. The clip needs minimal setup and the subject matter has been discussed ad nauseum elsewhere, but here are some things to look out for:
  • 7:24 in: Mark Green of the much-maligned Air America network very calmly manages to get the ignorant douchebag to shut the fuck up, if only for a few seconds.
  • "Appeasementenableenergizelegitimizeappeasementenergize
  • legitimizeappeasementenergizelegitimizelegitimizeappeasem
  • entenergizelegitimizelegitimizeappeasementenergizelegitimize"
  • No one is wearing their required flag pin.
  • 9/11 was Clinton's fault (again).
  • Again, total ignorant douchebag.


Enjoy! And remember: these are the kind of people we will be trying to reason with through November and beyond. So stop trying. It's impossible as they're beyond hope. Just calmly make them shut up.

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