Thursday, September 4, 2008

Uhmm...that sounds suspiciously like Community Organizing...

If you find faults with our country, make it a better one. If you're disappointed with the mistakes of government, join its ranks and work to correct them. Enlist in our Armed Forces. Become a teacher. Enter the ministry. Run for public office. Feed a hungry child. Teach an illiterate adult to read. Comfort the afflicted. Defend the rights of the oppressed. Our country will be the better, and you will be the happier. Because nothing brings greater happiness in life than to serve a cause greater than yourself.


- John McCain, 4-Sep-2008

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I wonder if it was the first time in his adult lifetime he was really proud of his country

TPM reports:

Todd Palin Was Registered Member of Alaska Independence Party Until 2002

By Kate Klonick - September 2, 2008, 3:25PM

The McCain camp today disputed rumors that presumptive vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin was ever registered with the secessionist Alaska Independence Party by releasing years of voter registration history . . . but it looks like that doesn't apply to her husband.

This afternoon, the director of Division of Elections in Alaska, Gail Fenumiai, told TPMmuckraker that Todd Palin registered in October 1995 to the Alaska Independence Party, a radical group that advocates for Alaskan secession from the United States.

Besides a short period of a few months in 2000 when he changed his registration to undeclared, Todd Palin remained a registered member of AIP until July 2002 when he registered again as an undeclared voter.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Presenting: The Voice of the Right!

Observe the overgrown homunculus pictured above. His name is Kevin James (not to be confused with the marginally-talented comic actor who had that marginal sitcom on CBS for awhile and also co-starred in I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry with that other twat), and, for reasons I might have once considered unfathomable but now pretty much accept as standard practice in today's media, has his own conservative talk radio show somewhere. One of the little Rushettes, as it were. Now, given that bit of knowledge, and given the overweening expression and body language as displayed in the photo, we can safely make a number of assumptions about this man:

  • He has never served in the U.S. armed forces, despite being a vociferous and enthusiastic supporter of any military incursion ordered by a Republican president.
  • He is deeply and passionately in love with the sound of his own voice.
  • He does not think very highly of those whose sociopolitical outlook does not jibe with his own.
  • He has a low opinion of homosexuality despite being a closeted gay man on the downlo- sorry, I can't leave that in; he looks entirely too stupid to be gay.
  • He is a complete and total ignoramus and douchebag.
Now, I had never even heard of this particular ignorant douchebag before; local market conservative blowhards are a dime-a-dozen and typically lack the distinguishing characteristics of the more popular syndicated blowhards whom they ape, such as drug-addiction (Limbaugh), white-supremacist ties (Hannity), or complete batshit narcissistic unbalance (O'Reilly). But this one caught my attention due to an appearance on MSNBC's SoftHardball with Chris Matthews. The clip needs minimal setup and the subject matter has been discussed ad nauseum elsewhere, but here are some things to look out for:
  • 7:24 in: Mark Green of the much-maligned Air America network very calmly manages to get the ignorant douchebag to shut the fuck up, if only for a few seconds.
  • "Appeasementenableenergizelegitimizeappeasementenergize
  • legitimizeappeasementenergizelegitimizelegitimizeappeasem
  • entenergizelegitimizelegitimizeappeasementenergizelegitimize"
  • No one is wearing their required flag pin.
  • 9/11 was Clinton's fault (again).
  • Again, total ignorant douchebag.


Enjoy! And remember: these are the kind of people we will be trying to reason with through November and beyond. So stop trying. It's impossible as they're beyond hope. Just calmly make them shut up.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Just Six Words




It's time...she must be stopped...after a series of successive and ever-worsening last straws, she has managed to outdo herself yet again in a most horrid way.

Let us take a cue from the Man from Gallifrey and end this now. Here's a glimpse of how it might look: simply substitute "Hillary Clinton" for "Harriet Jones" and "campaign" for "government" see if it doesn't work quite well.

Friday, February 29, 2008

A Dangerous(ly Telling) Endorsement (with a special apearance by Pusbucket!) UPDATED

Believe it or not, neither of these men is the one specifically referred to as Pusbucket.

Say what you will about the fundamentalist "Christian" televangelists- no, seriously, go on, say whatever you want about them! Hypocritical, self-aggrandizing prostitutes? Damn skippy! Opportunistic, rapacious charlatans? Testify! Manipulative, power-hungry leather queens? Uhm...sure, why not. But while they are all of these things and more, one thing which they most assuredly aren't is stupid. Willfully, breathtakingly, transcendently ignorant to be sure, but not stupid. When not attempting to controvert established science, or attempting to establish bibliocentric public policy, or exhorting women to offer up their bodies as baby factories to produce "quiverfulls" of troops for the upcoming race religious war, they can be remarkably astute and savvy politicos, and the best evidence of this is found in their endorsements. When attention-addict Pat Robertson endorsed Rudolph Giulani's presidential bid last fall, many were surprised; after all, surely (then unknown) Mike Huckabee or the reliable embryophile Sam Brownback would have been more ideologically suitable than a part-time drag queen from Brooklyn who doesn't quite share Patty's monomaniacal obsession with gay people.

So wot's, uh, the deal? Well, if you actually believed for a second that Robertson was anything but a transparently opportunistic fraud who probably doesn't even believe half the shit he says, then the endorsement might have come as a surprise. But at the time (November 2007), the smart money was on Giuliani to have a lock on the nomination, no one had even heard of the provincial douchebag bigot from Arkansas, and the casket containing the moribund campaign of Casper the Warmongering Ghost was just about to be lowered into the ground, before the glowing green fluid started to take effect. When, like Robertson, you don't give a flying fuck about principles, as destructive, wrongheaded and perverse as they may be, and care only about the acquisition of power, you'll go with what looks like a sure bet. Strangely enough, even James "Focus on your own goddamn family" Dobson's recent endorsement of Huckabee falls into the same category. There's no way Dobson actually believes his man will actually get the nomination (though surely he exploits the hope of those sheep who do in order to keep the cash spigot flowing), but years of aggressively pumping, thrusting and ramming his theocratic agenda through the Republican party's pooper chute (sans lube) have surely taught him that the more delegates Huckabee has at the Republican National Convention, the more power and influence the radical religious right and its adherents will have over the platform (and by extension, the nominee), as if they actually didn't have enough.

So when a popular and influential dispensationalist televangelist with an Israel fetish anoints John McCain as The One Most Likely To Make His Apocalyptic Wet Dream Come True, it might be a good idea to fucking pay attention as to why. John Hagee is the pastor and founder of Cornerstone Church, a 19,000-strong congregation and thriving multimedia concern housed in a huge, state-of-the-art facility off Loop 1604 in San Antonio's affluent northwest corner. I've driven past it a number of times, and much as with the colossal and creepy "Big Butter Jesus" statue off I-75 between Cincinnati and Dayton, Ohio, it reminds me how much more fun it must be to create stuff like this than to feed the poor or some boring shit like that. While all of the major players in the televangelist game have the same set of core principles (unfettered free market capitalism, American imperialism, opposition to most forms of free expression and sexuality, and you'll notice that I didn't include the actual teachings of Jesus in this list), each of them also has their own unique schtick to set them apart. Hagee's métier within the market is in the field of "Premillennial Dispensationalist Christian Zionism with an Emphasis on Israel, Taken To Its Illogical Extreme". A quick primer on Hagee's heretical-by-any-standards theology:

Dispensate this! Hagee preaches a particularly virulent form of eschatology grounded in the doctrine of premillennial dispensationalism, which basically means that not only is the prophetic Book of Revelation to be taken literally as future history, but it should also be considered an instruction manual on how to conduct world affairs in order to facilitate the Second Coming of Jesus Christ! All current events are considered as prophecy fulfilled, regardless of how much a stretch of the imagination is needed to make the pieces fit. The formation of the State of Israel, the preemptive war in Iraq, hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia: all prophetic signs pointing to the world-ending showdown in which non-followers get their asses bruised after the faithful have been conveniently spirited away in the pretribulation Rapture of the Church, a doctrine no one seems to agree on but that makes for a great way to scare the ever-living fuck out of people, and isn't that all you really need to do in order to control them?

Double your covenants, double your fun: "Fuck it, I'm even going to completely discard one of the central tenets of mainline Christian theology to show what a chubby I have for the Jews!" (Christian Zionism, widely considered heretical and inconsistent regardless of what one thinks of the Christian doctrine of salvation and redemption, in a nutshell)


Israelapalooza, baby!! I don't mean in the "the people of Israel occupy a significant place in world history, and we should support the efforts of all the people in that troubled region to live together in peace" sense, more like "We must inorexably and fatally tie in our foreign policy to Israel's, our support for them must be unconditional and absolute, anyone who suggests otherwise is not only anti-American but an agent of Satan." Indeed, chubby's chubby for Israel has manifest itself in the creation of the influential policy group Christians United for Israel, because I guess even AIPAC wasn't aggressive enough...

And finally, putting it all together for the cum shot, or explosive climax, as it were: as a good, Christian, terminally pro-Israel, dispensationalist nation in the End Times, we need to follow through on the sentiment behind Casper's glib use of a Beach Boys song to express his political will and bomb Iran. NOW!! You know, before a Democratic administration more inclined to pursue diplomacy takes away our chance...

So despite the misgivings (to put it politely) that the rest of the Christian Taliban crowd has about Casper, Hagee's support is unreserved. He knows what he wants and Casper is the man to give it to him, and all of us as well. However, the endorsement didn't go quite as swimmingly well as the parties involved had hoped, and indeed it served as yet another example of the sectarian rivalry that still exists on the right, when even their shared love of preemptive war isn't enough to hold the wingnuts together. One with whom the endorsement did not go down well is Pusbucket Bill Donohue, president, mouthpiece and only known member of the so-called Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, and a man so pathologically obnoxious that he makes TCWSNBN seem like Miss Manners by comparison. The Catholic League seems to exist for no purpose other than to get Donohue's fat face on television so that he can rant and issue threats against those behind any perceived media, pop cultural or political slight against Catholics in general or Jesus in particular. Here's what Catholic Pusbucket had to say about Evangelical Pusbucket:

There are plenty of staunch evangelical leaders who are pro-Israel, but are not anti-Catholic. John Hagee is not one of them. Indeed, for the past few decades, he has waged an unrelenting war against the Catholic Church. For example, he likes calling it "The Great Whore," an "apostate church", the "anti-Christ," and a "false cult system."
(No comment *whistles innocently*)

Delicious. All of the parties involved are so vile and contemptible that the only side to take is that which involves watching them cannibalize each other. But Casper knows that in order for him to prevail at the ballot box Diebold Accuclaw, he's going to have to maneuver his tongue very carefully among the anuses of all those on the right whose support he's going to need. So with the fresh taste of apocalyptic ass in his mouth, it was time to start making nice with those who aren't Hagee fans:

Well I think it's important to note that pastor John Hagee who has supported and endorsed my candidacy supports what I stand for and believe in. When he endorses me, it does not mean that I embrace everything that he stands for and believes. And I am very proud of the Pastor John Hagee's spiritual leadership to thousands of people and I am proud of his commitment to the independence and the freedom of the state of Israel. That does not mean that I support or endorse or agree with some of the things that Pastor John Hagee might have said or positions that he may have taken on other issues. I don't have to agree with everyone who endorses my candidacy. They are supporting my candidacy. I am not endorsing some of their positions.

And in case that didn't take, once more, with feeling:

Yesterday, Pastor John Hagee endorsed my candidacy for president in San Antonio, Texas. However, in no way did I intend for his endorsement to suggest that I in turn agree with all of Pastor Hagee's views, which I obviously do not. I am hopeful that Catholics, Protestants and all people of faith who share my vision for the future of America will respond to our message of defending innocent life, traditional marriage, and compassion for the most vulnerable in our society.

Now, about that "I'd rather have McCain than Obama cos I don't trust him" bullshit again...

UPDATE: 3/2/2008

Here is the text of a letter I may or may not get around to sending to CNN, depending on whether or not I think it might actually make a difference. Maybe it will, and maybe Milo Ventimiglia will suddenly appear naked and ready on my doorstep too...

Dear Feckless Tools at CNN:

While I would like to be able to appreciate your halfhearted attempt to create the illusion of treating all the candidates equally by taking a short break from your breathless reporting on "Obama's controversial (if wholly unsolicited) endorsement by Farrakhan" in order to make mention of McCain's refusal to disown the Hagee endorsement, ultimately I really can't. John Hagee is a dangerous, delusional, manipulative heretic who seeks to influence American foreign policy in order to literally bring about the end of the fucking world, and not only do you not make any mention of this whatsoever in your puff piece, you actually dismiss the outrage over this endorsement by ascribing it solely to Hagee's past statements about "Catholics, women, and gays"?!?

This is why you suck.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen Who's Amazed That Right-Wingers Continue To Call You Liberal

Friday, February 22, 2008

Maybe it was all the low-frequency techno beats


From the "And You Thought This Shit Only Happened In Kansas" department:

Shlomo Benizri, Republican ultra-Orthodox member of the Israeli Knesset, has demonstrated that idiocy in the service of hate is truly a universal thang, as he blamed a recent spate of earthquakes on that country's emerging legislative progress in gay equality, most recently a ruling in support of adoption by same-sex couples. Quoth the Reverend Robertson Rabbi:

Why do earthquakes happen? One of the reasons is the things to which the Knesset gives legitimacy, to sodomy...

We are looking for earthly solutions, how to prevent them. I have another way to prevent earthquakes. The Gemara [religious text] says that one of the reasons earthquakes happen - which the Knesset legitimizes - is homosexuality.

But wait kids, there's more:

A cost-effective way of averting earthquake damage would be to stop passing legislation on how to encourage homosexual activity in the State of Israel, which anyways causes earthquakes.

And finally, the money shot:

God says you shake your genitals where you are not supposed to and I will shake my world in order to wake you up(!)

Do I sense a "shake your genitals" house remix, perhaps?

...well this shit pretty much speaks for itself so it's offered largely without comment, except for this: I hereby switch my endorsement from Sherri Shepherd as Mike Huckabee's running mate on the "Ignorant Dumbfuck Hatemonger" ticket: pick this guy. Because homophobia is truly an interfaith proposition, and one thing that fundies of all faiths can agree upon is how much they truly and secretly wish to take it up the chuff...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Work it, Sir Charles!


On Friday, CNN's The Situation Room inadvertently stumbled into some truth right before Lou Dobbs' daily dose of nativist, anti-Mexican immigration rhetoric delivered under the guise of populist middle-class advocacy. For no discernible news-related reason, ol' Wolfie had the reliably outspoken ex-NBA star and (hopefully) future Alabama governor Charles Barkley on his program and, as usual, Sir Charles did not disappoint! Why, it's almost as though the corporate media actually courts (pah!) controversial guests to deliver controversial rhetoric in order to keep the ratings up-but occasionally some good comes out of it, and for that we will credit them. The initial topic of conversation was Barkley's support for Barack Obama, but it inevitably turned towards his opinion of Republicans and conservatism:

Hey, I live in Arizona. I have got great respect for Senator McCain. Great respect. But I don't like the way the Republicans are taking this country. Every time I hear the word "conservative," it makes me sick to my stomach, because they're really just fake Christians, as I call them. That's all they are. But I just -- I'm going to vote Democratic no matter what.

A bit later, Wolf asked Sir Charles to clarify (or perhaps qualify?) his remarks:

BLITZER: All right. One quick point before I let you go. You used the phrase "fake Christians" for conservatives. Explain what you're talking about.

BARKLEY: Well, I think they -- they want to be judge and jury. Like, I'm for gay marriage. It's none of my business if gay people want to get married. I'm pro-choice. And I think these Christians -- first of all, they're supposed to be -- they're not supposed to judge other people. But they're the most hypocritical judge of people we have in this country. And it bugs the hell out of me. They act like their Christians. And they're not forgiving at all.

BLITZER: So you're going to get a lot of feedback on this one, Charles.

BARKLEY: They can't do anything to me. I don't work for them.

BLITZER: You feel comfortable saying all that?

BARKLEY: I feel very comfortable saying I'm pro-choice, and I'm for gay marriage. Very comfortable.

BLITZER: But you can't lump all these conservatives as being fake. A lot of them obviously -- most of them are very, very sincere in their religious beliefs.

BARKLEY: Well, they should read the part about they're not supposed to judge other people. They forget that one when it doesn't fit what they want it to say.

Work! It goes without saying that there is nothing whatsoever I find objectionable in these statements. But the interesting story here is not how Sir Charles correctly identified the rampant hypocrisy of the highly-politicized evangelical movement, or how the Republican party has become completely in thrall to the Christian conservative wing's completely incongruous agenda of authoritarian, puritanical social policy and laissezfaire economics...no, the real story is the reaction Sir Charles' candid speech is getting from people who probably aren't accustomed to being on the receiving end of such rhetoric: a reaction of outrage and indignation that starts to ring hollow when you consider the company some of these people keep...

Quick to jump on Barkley's comments was The Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson, a 4th-tier anti-civil rights activist who was allegedly born a poor black child and who has parlayed his Cosbyesque "blacks are the problem" schtick into a lucrative career as a 4th-tier radio talk show host, head of a conservative, "pro-family" nonprofit and the resident House Negro of The Sean Hannity Show...because after all, racism isn't really racism if it's a black man saying it, right...? Anyway, here's what Uncle Ruckus had to say about Sir Charles:

Barkley is getting a pass because he's a black liberal Democrat attacking Christian conservatives. The man is a bigot and has no moral character. He should apologize for his remarks.

I have no recollection of Peterson apologizing for calling the victims of Hurricane Katrina "too lazy, immoral and trifling to do anything for themselves," but be that as it may...

There have been other, less strident reactions, yet still unsustainable by the facts, such as Christian Anti-Defamation Commission CEO Gary Cass expressing his astonishment at Barkley's supposed assertion "that Christians cannot have an opinion about matters of public policy and personal morality," (huh??) but the point is that there is a specter that hangs over the entire right wing punditocracy, a 900lb gorilla (I so wanted to say transgendered gorilla but in light of recent events, and the overriding fact that I don't have anything against transgendered people, I decided not to insult them by even remotely associating them with the piece of human offal I'm about to mention) that automatically invalidates any sense of indignation they may proclaim when confronted with any sort of bold or impolitic commentary from the left.

Two words: Ann-fucking-C- sorry, I should be consistent with the naming convention that was started by Unwired Labs and simply refer to it as "That Cunt Who Shall Not Be Named", or TCWSNBN for short. Because apparently it's only permissible for leggy right-wing blondes with suspiciously pronounced adam's apples to issue provocative and sweeping statements against those with whom they disagree. And I have no doubt that the irony will continue to be lost on (or simply ignored by) Hannity, Savage, Malkin, Peterson, and their ilk as they continue to either actively or tacitly support TCWSNBN or invite it as an honored guest on their shows as it promotes its' forthcoming book: Liberals Should Lick My Real Pussy Juice And Die In Another 9/11; Please Pay Attention To Me.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Acidic? Moi?? I prefer to think of myself as non-proton-biased

During the intervening weeks since I last had the time to create an entry, a funny thing happened: I have received shout-outs and linkage from two neighboring and like minded blogs! The first would be the lovely and liberal Love and Liberty from across the Atlantic, run by a dear friend who, alongside his capable partner (and also a dear friend) carries the banner of the noble and worthy Liberal Democrat cause in England, when they're not doing battle with Cybermen or saving humanity from the Daleks, or from space pirates who look like badgers. The second is from the Peabody Award winning, Chicago-based Goes to Twelve, led by a longtime comrade in arms going back to when Sexual Tourette's was under the proprietorship of Unwired Labs, before it was determined that the censored and overmoderated Yahoo! 360 format was just too limiting. Fuck yeah.

But imagine my utter shock when I read that my commentary was described as "Acid US Politics"! The affrontery! The mock outrage! There are so many religious extremists, homophobes, hypocrites and just general wastes of mass to vituperate, so few hours in the day. If sometimes I find it necessary to use a little causticity to help remove the pilonidal cysts from the anus that is of US politics, then so be it.

And speaking of ass cysts, how about that Rush Limbaugh...though I suppose it's only fitting that he continues to return to the body part that kept him out of Vietnam.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

¡Órale! She's talkin our language, homes!


A lesson in the fine art of pandering from Hillary Clinton:

All of our problems are interconnected, but we treat them as though one is guacamole and one is chips when...they both go together. - Hillary Clinton, showing just how down with the batos she is, Las Vegas, January 10 2008
But it turns out that this is in fact part of a larger strategy to reach a variety of different ethnic and cultural groups with highly-specific, targeted messages. Here are some examples of different food stereotypes that the Senator can use to suit the message to the audience:

African-American : "All of our problems are interconnected, but we treat them as though one is chitlins and one is grits."

African-American (alternative): "All of our problems are interconnected, but we treat them as though one is chicken and one is waffles."

Jewish: Manaschewitz, Chinese food (brisket may be substituted)

Irish: Guinness, Jameson + Bailey's in a shot glass

Gay: Mimosas, brie

Gluten-free vegan: Spelt bread, soy milk

Recovering cannibal: Hufu, chianti

Klingon: Chech'tluth, Torgud gagh

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Outraged? Hardly. In fact, I have a suggestion

Welcome, gentle readers (all 6 or so of you)! Yet another election year is upon us, and with it comes yet another cynical attempt to appropriate a wedge issue as red meat (think thick, juicy sausage) for the basest of the base. Except this year, things are different; the provincial douchebag bigot at the center of the storm is entirely too guileless, too artless to be accused of mere political maneuvering in the matter. In other words, he actually believes this shit. The provincial douchebag bigot in question is of course, ordained Baptist minister and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, and the wedge issue du jour is the tried and true favorite of Republicans everywhere:
Well, I don't think that's a radical view to say we're going to affirm marriage. I think the radical view is to say that we're going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal. Again, once we change the definition, the door is open to change it again. I think the radical position is to make a change in what's been historic.

- Mike Huckabee, in a hagiographic interview conducted by Beliefnet.com

Sound familiar? Yes, it's the exact same discharge secreted by former Senator (but forever Vile, Despicable Cuntrag) Rikki "Man-On-Dog" Santorum in a fit of impotent rage following the 2003 Lawrence v. Texas Supreme Court decision decriminalizing sexual acts between consenting, same-sex adults. But again, whereas Santorum just seemed to drip, ooze, even excrete evil from every orifice, and whose entire miserable career was and continues to be informed by a highly opportunistic neoconservative political calculus, Huckabee just seems, well, sincere in his monumental ignorance, as though he really believes he has to believe this shit in order to be a good person...

...and it is for this reason and this reason alone that I have decided to try and help. An ignorant man needs an ignorant running mate (the current occupants of the executive branch notwithstanding), and I believe I have found the perfect running mate for Mike Huckabee. I give you: Sherri Shepherd for Vice-President!




For those of you unfamiliar with Ms. Shepherd, she is the most recent addition to the cast of The View, an insufferable, long-running talk show "for women" created by former respected journalist Barbara Walters, and quite possibly one of the reasons the Islamists hate us. Anyhow, Ms. Shepherd has created quite a stir in recent months with a series of comments made on the show which have served to identify her not only as a colossal moron, but as the worst kind of ignoramus: a willful one who seems to revel and take pride in her sheer ignorance, as though it was a badge of honor, and indeed, piety...thus making her the perfect companion (not a counterpart or foil, but more an intellectual contemporary) to the willful ignoramus running for the Republican nomination. A Harry Dunne to his Lloyd Christmas, if you will. Now read on for a few examples of their intellectual alignment, and see if you do not agree that this is the only woman with the intellectual capacity to run alongside this guy.


ON SCIENCE

"If you want to believe that you and your family came from apes, that's fine. I'll accept that, I just don't happen to think that I did." - Huckabee, clarifying his dodge of a debate question on evolution while completely mischaracterizing the theory, May 4 2007

"Is the world flat? I don't know, I never thought about it..." - Shepherd, in response to a question from Whoopi Goldberg on The View, September 18 2007

ON CHRISTOCENTRIC HISTORY

"[The signers of the Declaration of Independence] were brave people, most of whom, by the way, were clergymen." - Huckabee, in a debate in Orlando, October 21 2007 (BTW it was 1 out of 56)

"[The Greeks] had Christians 'cause they threw them to the lions...I don't think anything predated Christians." - Shepherd, in response to a discussion on whether Christians lived during the time of Epicurius, on The View, December 4 2007

ON LGBT ISSUES

"Unless Moses comes down with two stone tablets from Brokeback Mountain to tell us something different, we need to keep that understanding of marriage." - Huckabee, being a super-butch, manly, vagina-bothering hetero-stud for a group of Christian conservatives, September 2006

"Not in my house! Not in my house! Not in my house! My son isn't putting on dresses! Girls wear dresses! When he's 18, he can do what he wants, but not in my house!" - Shepherd, on being confronted with the possibility that her son could grow up to be transgendered, The View, December 6 2007